Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
