So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
