I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
