hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
