I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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