You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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