he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
