I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
