Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's blow job season.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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