As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
