apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
