He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Ladies don't puke and tell
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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