im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
