Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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