Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it's great music for shaving your balls
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
