you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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