obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
