Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
