Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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