Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize