I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
