Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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