I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
