I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
