My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
