I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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