Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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