yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
