why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
