Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
