What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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