"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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