3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Success! We fucked roommates!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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