Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
