yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
