I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
