I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You're like the curious george of whores
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
