he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
