I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
