hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
