the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
