just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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