I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
