And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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