He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
