Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
