i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i out mim tonsoeep
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
