Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
