I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
