I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
