I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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