This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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