I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
