I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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