it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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