me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
