i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
